~You Are Precious In My Sight~

Isaiah 43:3-4
For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior... Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.(NIV)

~: This study won't change who you are, but will hopefully change your perception of yourself. It is designed to be completed independently but if you ever want feedback or accountability or just someone to walk you through it more deeply, email me. It may help to keep track of your thoughts and answers in a journal. :~

Many of our perceptions of ourselves are formed while we are young. We take in what people say to us or do to us and then form opinions about ourselves based on those words or actions. Sometimes our own life experiences of success or failure develops our image also. The view one often ends up with isn't always right and many times isn't positive.

Even though you might have been influenced by others or experiences to see yourself the way you do, the final view is up to you. Only you can change how you feel about yourself. It has to come from inside, from an understanding of your strengths and of who you are in God's eyes. No one else has the power to make you less- your image is up to you.
What I will attempt to do is to give you some food for thought and some tools to work with so that you can learn to see yourself in a positive light.

Part one:
Self evaluation:

~: Write out a paragraph about who you are. Describe your basic looks, talents, abilities and/or outlook on life.

~: List 5 things that you like about yourself. (Looks, abilities, actions, or attitudes)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

~: List out 5 things that you are dissatisfied about yourself. (Looks, abilities, actions, or attitudes)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Which list was easier to write? I would bet it would be the things that you don't like about yourself. Many people in our society, both religious and not, have mistakenly labeled confidence, feeling good about a job well done, stating true and positive things about oneself, and standing up for oneself, as pride, arrogance, and/or a rebellious attitude. So, many times people are required to have a false humility, cut themselves down or take verbal abuse by authority figures in order to be accepted. It is also human nature to see a negative thing easier than a positive.

Some values on human worth that have been stated by Claudia A. Howard are:
1. All have infinite, internal, eternal, and unconditional worth as persons.

2. All have equal worth as people. Worth is not comparative or competitive.

3. Externals, such as money, looks, or achievements, neither adds nor diminishes worth.

4. Worth is stable and not dependant on rejection or acceptance.

5. Worth doesn't have to be earned or proved. It already exists. Just recognize, accept and appreciate it.

Everything has a true color. Pretty much everyone sees everything at its true color. But what if you found out that for some reason, all the colors you saw as normal and true, really weren't. Would you take the time and energy into relearning how to see the world's true colors again?

Most people would quickly say yes. And yet when it comes to the 'colors' that change the way they view themselves or others, it is much harder to do. Instead of seeing yourself and/or others for their true self, you might be seeing a muted color, or because of hurt, seeing a completely different color. Changing that view is hard work and yet the results are worth it; To see others and yourself for all the possiblities that are there.

Challenge:
Working on changing your view of yourself may be very hard at times. Especially if you have had a low self image for a while now. You will be forcing new habits and new thought processes on yourself. You will be moving from what is easy to believe to what may seem impossible to believe. And so the question you need to ask yourself is: Am I willing to put the effort into this study? Into changing my view of my worth? Do I really want to change my negative habits?

These aren't questions you need to answer to anyone else but yourself. But as with any substantial change, it will take a commitment from you. My part is to support and encourage you in your efforts!

Changing your perspective of your worth and developing a better self image is a great goal to have. But it won't be an easy one, and it won't happen over night. Many times it will feel like nothing is changing and you may wonder what the point is of continuing to try. The point is that you will become a stronger and more content person. The truth will set you free.. and the effort to get there is worth it.

But in order to get there you must make a commitment. This is not a commitment to me or anyone else except for yourself and God. I have no agenda or expectation for you in any way. You can work through these ideas as slow or fast as you want or need to. Or you can even decide to not do them at all and it won't affect me. This is totally up to you and where you want to go. If you want me to help you with your accountability, then I can and will be available to help in that area. So if you are ready for the challenge...

Write this out in your journal, and then sign and date it.

"I commit to work through these activities in order to change my view of myself in regards to my worth and image. I realize this is between God and myself, but I am putting my name here just for the accountability of it."

Journal work:
Along with your commitment that you should write in your journal, you should also write out your goals. What do you exactly aim to accomplish from this study? Where do you want to be emotionally in one month, or 6 months? Making a written goal may seem like you are setting yourself up for failure, but without a goal you won't know where you are going.

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"


Topics to cover:
Just as a small, seemingly dead acorn has the potential to grow into a huge oak tree, the same sense of potential is in each of us to become great people. So if all this potential is here, why do people still feel inadepuate and worthless so much of the time? There seems to be at least 5 different reasons for that:

1. The proverbial '1/2 empty glass'. (Appreciation)
2. Lack of understanding your strengths (Indentity)
3. Not receiving love in a way you understand it. (Aceptance)
4 Not liking ourselves. (self confidence)
5. Not understanding your worth in God's eyes. (spiritual)

I want to get into each of these more indepth.

"½ empty glass"
The basic idea behind this saying is that two people can look at the exact same happening and each will see a different view. The first will see the situation in a positive light, and the second in a negative. The action or situation was neutral, but the way the people view life will affect the way they see the situation. Although, people need to have a balanced view, the negative view can become a habit that cripples the individual from expanding their lives.

People have a tendency to focus on what they aren’t doing well, what they fail at, their mistakes and shortcomings, rather then the positive steps taken. Positive things such as their accomplishments, their service and their giving of themselves to others are harder to see.

Journal work: Abundance Journal

This is a simple exercise but not always an easy one. The purpose to this exercise is to change your mind set from 'what I am not accomplishing or what I am failing at' into 'what I did well today', and 'what I am thankful for'. It's the changing of seeing your life in regards to it being 1/2 empty to it being at least 1/2 full and working towards seeing it full.

In order for this to really change your negative thinking habits you need to do this exercise a couple times a week for at least a month. The more often you work through this the more it will become the way you see your life in general.

The first part of your journal work you will need to think of 10 things you are thankful for. This can be people, things, or situations.

"I am thankful for..."

1.________ 2._________ 3. ________ 4. __________ 5. ________

6.________ 7. ________ 8. ________ 9. __________ 10._________


The second part you will need to think of 10 things that you can acknowledge that you have done well, or have accomplished. These can be large things or small, but they all need to be focused on what you have done that is positive. It can be things that you have been involved with over a long period of time (ie working within a family situation) or something you have accomplished this day (ie I cleaned my room today).

"I have accomplished or have done well on..."

1.________ 2._________ 3. ________ 4. __________ 5. ________

6.________ 7. ________ 8. ________ 9. __________ 10._________


If you ever need help with thinking through these because you just can't see anything positive happening, I will brainstorm with you. That in itself is a positive accomplishment!

Obviously, not everything we do will be considered positive no matter how you turn that glass around. Some habits we have are just plain bad or negative ones and they need to be changed. Some of our beliefs about life, ourselves and others are detrimental and need to be reviewed and changed. I will get into that aspect later, but for now, let's just try and see the positive in life for this activity.

So for now, let's look at some actions or personality traits that you may have, that have been labeled as negative by others or yourself, and see if there can't be a '1/2 full' view of the same trait. I'm going to use some real people that I know (names will be changed to protect privacy) and show how the same action can be viewed positively or negatively.

Jessica has the personality that tends to be affected by situations emotionally. If you were to look at her with the '1/2 empty glass' view you would see a moody person who is complaining about everything. You would think she was too sensitive to what was said about her and that she was never satisfied about other's actions. The '1/2 full glass' view is that she is very sensitive. Her goals for herself are high and thus she has high goals for others. Her sensitivities help her to feel for other's pain, and sympathize with them easily. Most likely art and music will affect her a lot and she will influence others through it.
My point in this example is to show that the same traits can be seen in two lights. It also is to show that we have to learn to control the traits we have. She has a choice of complaining that things are right, or of thinking of ways to improve those areas that she has control of. She has the choice of being moody or of expressing her feelings through words, music or service to others.
John is the leader type. He is the no nonsense, 'let's get the job done now' personality. He can dominate the situation and become demanding in an abrupt and demeaning way. He can see most people as below himself and be sarcastic about their accomplishments. But this is looking at his leadership skills through the wrong side. Those strong leadership traits are needed in any work or stressful situation. He has high standards and can create an atmosphere where people strive to do their best. His responsibility is to make sure he is using those skills and traits to bring out the good in himself, others and the situation.

Personality types:

This next part is to learn about your personality. Some people shy away from tests as they perceive them as pigeon-holing people; labeling them. Some dont' like them because the test doesn't always show exactly who they are... the tests seem general at times.
I tend to believe they can be useful tools for helping us understand why we perceive the world the way we do and to understand our strengths and weaknesses. The reason I see this as important is for those of us who struggle with our image, we usually have a distorted view of ourselves. We may have been told so many times of our weaknesses, that we are unsure of what our strengths are or even if we have strengths. Understanding what our personality type is can help us appreciate who God has created us to be.
One thing to keep in mind while taking the tests is to answer as honestly as possible. Don’t mark answers as how you wish you were like. And be careful of your current mood... if you are unusually down or unusually up; it might reflect in an incorrect evaluation.
The first test is my personal favorite as it breaks down the personalities into 4 easily understood categories. 2 are extroverts; Sanguine and Choleric, and 2 are introverts; Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. The basic idea behind the differences of extroverts and introverts is that the 'extro' desires to be around people to get rejuvenated and unstressed... and 'intros' desire to be alone to unwind and relieve stress.
I will list just a brief review of the four personalities:

Choleric: strong leader, opinionated, high standards, can be critical
Sanguine: out going, enjoy entertaining; idea generator, spontaneous, loyal, can be flakey.
Melancholy: artisitc, perfectionist, enjoys being alone, high standards, can be moody.
Phlegmatic: easy going, patient, peacemaker; indecisive, avoids conflict, listener, self-righteous.

Test one: http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php

Journal: What is your personality type? Go into the descriptions of the types and list out the main ideas are listed there that describe you. And underline any that stand out to you as important to remember.